The Perfect Steak
I have recently spent some time refining my steak cooking technique, and am now documenting it here for future generations and myself if I happen to forget. Please note that this is a way of cooking my perfect steak — your perfect steak will undoubtedly be completely different (and, obviously, completely wrong).
We start by picking our steak. I usually go for a rump steak or a sirloin steak — the quality of the meat is important, so try and get one that’s organic and locally-produced if possible. Don’t be put off if the meat is not that nice, safe, supermarket-pink colour – a brown steak will be older but it will taste even better. Also try and avoid Tesco, because their meat is generally rubbish no matter what they claim.
Take the meat from your fridge at least half an hour before you plan to cook it. You’ll start cooking the steak about 15 minutes before the rest of your food is ready.
First of all, heat a dribble of olive oil in a heavy-bottomed pan, the sort of pan that you could conceivably kill someone with if you hit them with it upside the head — a serious, grown-up pan. Get this pan hot — as hot as you dare, and then a bit hotter. What we’re going to aim for is to quickly carbonise the outside of the steak, but not so slowly that it allows the inside to cook.
While the pan is heating, dribble some olive oil on both sides of your steak and rub it in — this will help the outside to cook quickly (I guess). Then, liberally season your steak on both sides. My seasoning of choice is Schwartz Steakhouse Pepper, which is a mixture of pepper, salt, onion, garlic, paprika and chillies, but it’s up to you — just make sure you don’t wimp out, you want to be showering your meat with this crap. Rub it into both sides.
When your pan is scarily hot, take the steak with a pair of tongs and hold it in the pan vertically, with its fatty edge the only part making contact. The idea here is to render the fat down to cook the steak partially in its own juices, and it will also give you a nice crispy edge which you will enjoy eating, even at the expense of your arteries.
After a couple of minutes of this — you’ll probably be generating a fair bit of smoke by this stage, by the way, so it’s good to have a window open or an extractor fan on — you’ll start cooking the steak proper. Drop the steak down on to its side and let it sizzle away. Timing here is important. The steak packaging and other recipes (particularly American ones, for some reason) may instruct you to cook it for something ridiculous like five to eight minutes each side — this is clearly madness. Go for no more than two minutes on one side then one minute on the other. If your pan is hot enough, this will cremate the outside quickly but leave the inside nice and pink.
Do not then plonk your steak straight onto your plate — you need to let the meat rest for five minutes or so to allow the juices to redistribute themselves and give you a nice even colour. I do this by placing the steak on a wire rack in a warm, pre-heated grill or oven, which lets the meat rest and also lets excess fluids drain off, but other people will place it on a flat surface — my reading and experimentation suggests to me that this isn’t so important as the resting itself, but your milage may vary.
Finally, transfer your steak to a plate and consume, alongside a small portion of charlotte potatoes, some wilted spinach and a glass of good red wine (Italian). The steak is the star here, so don’t drown it out with side dishes.
So, that’s how I do it. How about you?

My way is slightly different. I start by going to a alightly more expensive restaurant than I can strictly afford, then over an aperitif (Kir Royal always a winner) I order a rare steak. That always seems to do the trick.
(If I’m in France and the waiter is particularly attractive, I’ll order it “Bleu” whilst throwing him a coy glance. As all Francophiles will know, this is code for “I am sexually available”.)
Steak is best grilled, I find. Black on the outside, brown on the inside, and the fatty bit all crunchy and lovely.
None of this bleeding rubbish. I’d agree with getting a decent bit of steak though – finding a local farmers market or small butchers is usually a good bet.
I can’t believe I just spent the first five minutes of my Monday morning reading about how to cook The Perfect Steak, especially after cooking some pretty lame steaks last night for tea.
That said, I will be taking your tips for the next steak-cooking experience and see how well it goes. I’m slightly concerned about the flash-frying it only for 3 minutes, especially with a pregnant wife worrying about under-cooked meat. Meh. At least mine will taste nice!
Hmmm. Having read this, I’ll look forward to the article on how to coordinate your soft furnishings.
I’m wondering why, as a vegetarian, I read the whole of that article.
Because, deep down, you want to be a meat-eater.
I’d also marinate the steak the night before and leave it in the fridge, using a flavouring of choice (i.e. soy or chilli sauce with some herbs, my favourite being a mixture of basil, cumin and lime). Not orthodox by any means, but it cooks easier and tastes better.
Like h, I’d rather have it cooked for me, and saignant, but failing that a brief bit of (very hot) frying in a little clarified butter and olive oil does the trick.
Accompaniments: roquefort sauce or perhaps sauce moelle, potatoes sauteed from raw, and a few bitter leaves. And a bottle of Cahors.
Of course, we all know that vegetarians should be force fed with lard. ;)
Okay, that’s more than enough. If it’s still bleeding then it isn’t dead enough. Cook it longer. Meat is not meant to be pink.
What about gammon? That’s pink.
(Although it always reminds me of a shaved and sunburnt scrotum, so I don’t eat it.)
while steak is resting pour the juice of half a lemon over. Of course you have to have a Jamie Oliver rib eye steak!!
I don’t know why but that pic of cow confused me at glimpse. Somehow I only saw two rabbits facing eachother, no cow at all, same happened to my girlfriend.
You looked at your girlfriend and just saw two rabbits facing each other? How bizarre.
Yeah, I know. Maybe I should start wearing my glasses all the time… Or just stop writing in English.
I have a list of people who should stop writing in English (present company excepted of course).
For what it’s worth, I can now see the rabbits.
I saw rabbits, too. Didn’t see the cow until I read these comments. I suppose that means something is profoundly and disturbingly wrong with my neurological state. Or maybe I’m just cow-blind.
This cow picture is like one of the optical illusions which could be either an old or a young woman, and you squint trying to see both at the same time.
Every time I log on I wonder why you have a picture of two ginger guinea pigs looking at each other.
Do you have a guide to cooking the perfect pair of rabbits?
Yes, take the recipe for cooking the perfect rabbit, then double the proportions.
Well, i’m a little late in joining the ‘steak forum’ .. but it’s never too late for steak!
I have been jones’ing for a good steak, for some time now. And tonight .. is the night! ;)
I love a good rib steak .. smothered and left to sit for a bit, in Montreal Steak Spice .. it’s the best!! You can buy it in two formats – as a dry rub, or a paste. I prefer the dry one, myself.
I’ll probably go the distance and make a good baked potato.. some nice long green beans .. and of course.. a glass (or 3) of Cab Sav or Shiraz.
Mmmmmmm .. i can taste it now :)
Me again.. I should have noted that the MTL Steak Spice, is to be rubbed on to both sides of the steak.. left to sit at room temp for a good couple of hours.. THEN grilled to perfection – med/rare.
Try it.. you’ll love it!
I did have some Montreal steak spice for a while, made by the Schwartz people but I think they’ve since discontinued it. I liked it, though, while it lasted.
I’ve actually just finished a great steak where I borrowed a recipe off a friend of mine.
The way he showed me to make it was as follows;
Buy a rib-eye steak as brown and as grey as possible.
Leave it to sit at room temperature for about an hour.
Nail some whiskey.
Pound the meat with your fist until you reach desired tenderization.
Season with pepper, olive oil, garlic and tobasco sauce. Leave to marinade for as long as you’d like.
Pan fry in either butter or olive oil, literally 30 seconds for an inch steak, other times will vary.
Serve with nothing but steak and a few shots of whiskey.
What Sandbox forgot to mention was, if you’re vegetarian, just omit the steak.
Sandbox’s method strikes me as being very manly. Presumably after the steak, everyone goes off to hunt some buffalo or something?
I haven’t laughed so much in ages at the comments on your website. I am now going off to cook your perfect steak and hope all goes well. I only saw the cow when I looked at the photograph and it took a further minute to see the two rabbits. Best wishes, Christine.
Dear paul haine. What do you say to those ‘chefs’ who claim that by seasoning the steak with salt before it is cooked, you will draw the blood out of it and dry the innards?
Yes, it’s _that_ Robbo.
I’d say they’re probably using too much salt, or that they’ve possibly mistaken a slug for a steak.
You wrote a review on the dead man’s chest recently. i just want to say how i dont appreciate the fact you called the place where the voodoo lady lives, monkey island. your stupid. probably a racist. and you need a life.
Dear Daniella,
I find that a good rule of thumb is this: before insulting someone on the internet, do some fucking research first, otherwise you’re liable to look like a bit of a fool.
All the best,
paul
“your stupid”.
Oh, the irony.
YOU WOULD THINK A FARMERS WIFE SHOULD BE ABLE TO COOK STEAK – ESPECIALLY WHEN REARING IT ONESELF. NOT SO!! MY ONLY SUCCESSES SEEM TO BE WITH FILLET OR RIBEYE!! THAT IS HOW I SORCED YOUR ARTICLE (AMUSING AS IT WAS) AND FULLY INTEND TO TRY YOUR HINTS OUT ON MY LONG SUFFERING HUBBY! – NO SERIOUSLY HE USUALLY COOKS THE STEAK – YOU CAN GUESS WHY. STILL HOPE IT WORKS ON RUMP AND PORTERHOUSE CUTS – CHEERS FOR NOW – WILL KEEP YOU POSTED
My executive chef at our family owned steak house here in New York City tells me that pan seared vs. grilling is purely a matter of preference. From my travels through I’ve found that you Brits tend to over cook the dead flesh. In any case, there’s nothing like the taste of a properly prepaired ribeye and a good glass of red wine.
There is a fantastic Argentinian steak house on Mojacar Playa (Spain) called La Cabana and they cook their steaks by hanging them against a vertical grill (a bit like you see in a kebab shop) and they baste the meat with oil to keep it moist. The best tasting steaks you will ever eat!!!
Last year me and my mate went there in between world cup matches (and bars) and I ordered their biggest steak (50 oz.). It’s bigger than the “80 oz.” steak I saw in Cornwall many years ago and the chips come on a separate plate. That’s how big it is!
The guys at the grill were given my order by the waiter, looked at our table, and started to laugh.
LITTLE DID THE ARGIE PLONKERS REALISE THAT I HAD BEEN THERE BEFORE AND HAD THE SAME DISH AND FINISHED THE WHOLE LOT OFF, TO THE SURPRISE OF THE WAITER SERVING ME AT THE TIME!
You should have seen their faces when I walked out of that place! Yeah, they were still LOLing but I would have loved to have seen their faces when they saw my empty plate!!!
I sure hope the waiter showed them knobheads my empty plate. He MUST have been astonished.
He must have been…
That plate was cleaner than the day it came out the kiln.
Hector~ Thanks for sending me the link. I needed the laugh.
Oh….& I saw two animals facing each other at first. Took a second to see the cow. LOL