Picture this: the adverts and trailers have finished and it’s time for another laugh-free lobotomy courtesy of Orange Mobile that hawks the phone brand at the same time as telling you to switch the cocking things off. A man in the audience, having spent the last twenty minutes furiously texting, pauses to watch the advert. He laughs, then goes back to texting as the film starts up. Because it’s funny, isn’t it? The idea of turning your phone off, that is. Who turns their phone off these days?

Reviewing The Cabin in the Woods seems pretty redundant, as it’s so recognisably from the Joss Whedon stable that there’s little here you won’t already have an opinion of and you probably already know if you’re going to see it or not. Enjoyed Buffy, Angel and Firefly? You’ll enjoy Cabin. Didn’t enjoy them? There’s nothing here that’s going to change your mind. Also, your opinions are wrong, and you’re grotesquely ugly.