Joeblade

  1. To be clear upfront, Street Fighter is a mediocre film and you absolutely should not waste any time on it. If you have an opportunity to watch it then there is almost certainly something better and more worthwhile you could be watching instead. Director Steven de Souza was a successful screenwriter (48 Hrs., Commando, The Running Man, Die Hard), but he definitely didn’t become a successful director. Street Fighter fails as an action film, a fighting film, and as a videogame adaptation. This isn’t a “Street Fighter is actually good” piece. And yet.

  2. Thor as a character has worked best on screen when he’s been allowed to be funny; that’s not to say he isn’t good when serious as well, but there’s a balance that needs to be struck to get the best out of him. The original Thor found that balance, contrasting the serious Asgardian family drama with Thor’s fish out of water antics on Earth, and the film became one of my unexpected favourites from the Marvel stable. Thor: The Dark World on the other hand is an uneven, gloomy film that only sparks to life when Loki is around, and while I’ve grown more forgiving of the film after multiple viewings, I still find it a damp and dreary piece.

  3. I’ve written a few times before about my gaming ability but to recap: I’m terrible-to-average at games generally, and even worse at games that involve playing against real people. Splatoon, first on the Wii U and now on the Switch, is ostensibly a team-based online shooter, which is so many of my least-favourite words it’s amazing I even typed them all together like that. Despite this I’ve found myself sinking hours into Splatoon without complaint, enjoying the game and willingly returning for more.

  4. I saw Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element on release in 1997, and immediately hated it. Being a cynical, sneering teenager, I had no time for the bright and colourful visuals, the self-consciously wacky characters, the broad, slapstick comedy, the baffling Lee Evans cameo. Eventually though, as the real world grew progressively duller and my hair increasingly greyer, I came to appreciate the film for what it was rather than what it wasn’t, and it’s now a film I check on every few years. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets has a lot in common with The Fifth Element, and having trained myself to appreciate the former, I found it easy to appreciate the latter.

  5. I’ve found the last few years of superhero films to be enough of a slog that I was starting to resent not just them, but myself for continually falling for the positive reviews. Marvel’s films have suffered from increasingly conservative storytelling, DC’s efforts have been visually splashy but in all other aspects terrible, and the X-Men series was effectively ended in my mind with the one-two punch of a bland and overstuffed X-Men: Apocalypse, and Logan, which was excellent but also practically sequel-proof. Patty Jenkins' Wonder Woman, on the other hand, reminded me why I love the genre as much as I do, and why I keep coming back for more.

  6. Playing Breath of the Wild taught me something about myself, which is that I’ll happily put off fighting evil until tomorrow if there’s an interesting shrubbery in the distance I can visit today. Breath of the Wild is a game of staggering beauty and hidden depths, but it’s also a procrastinator’s delight. It is, in many ways, my perfect game.

  7. The joke that opens Guardians of the Galaxy 2, where the Guardians fight a giant monster in the background of the scene, out of focus, while Baby Groot dances obliviously in the foreground, is a joke you’ve seen before, in, say, Hellboy, or Men in Black, or the Q scene in a James Bond film. “Background chaos ignored by foreground character” is a dependable gag, but it only ever needs to last a few seconds. In Guardians of the Galaxy 2, it goes on for as long as the opening credits need it to, which is about five minutes. So, how much you’ll get out of the film may depend on how long you can stomach a joke for.

From the archives

In brief

  1. Street Fighter: Almost aggressively naff, but Raul Julia saves it.
  1. Journey to the Far Side of the Sun: A ludicrous conceit and a thinly-spread story, but I won’t hear a word against the brightly-coloured 60s sci-fi style.
  1. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia: Grim, dusty, sweaty perfection.
  1. The Castle of Cagliostro: Miyazaki’s second animation is an enjoyably dopey caper, with a bit of a Herbie/Cannonball Run vibe. Saturday morning fun.
  1. The Manchurian Candidate (1962): Everyone’s doing great things here, but Angela Lansbury is the best, at her most deliciously sinister.
  1. Murder on the Orient Express (1974): Albert Finney hams it up a bit too much as Poirot, but this is a decent way to spend a Sunday afternoon.
  1. Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey: It’s a largely pointless sequel but stupidly funny and Bill & Ted so enjoyable to spend time with I don’t care.
  1. The Addams Family: Wonderful, of course. Has there ever been a more perfectly cast film?
  1. Marjorie Prime: A beautifully shot, performed and scripted sci-fi piece. Thoughtful, cerebral and haunting.
  1. A Very Brady Sequel: Not quite as charming as the first film but still worth watching for the brilliant Gary Cole, and to understand where the “Sure Jan” meme comes from.
  1. Gold (2016): Serviceable dramatisation but a little forgettable. McConaughey goes full Oscar-bait, so there’s at least some decent scenery chewing.
  1. The Death of Stalin: Just fantastic. Dark, complex, smart and hilarious.
  1. Dark Passage: Bogart/Bacall noir with a distracting first-person-perspective gimmick. Historically interesting, but unbalanced.
  1. Captain America: Civil War: Performed well, some fun action, ultimately superfluous.
  1. Sneakers: Really solid 90s hacking film that’s aged surprisingly well. Great cast, fun script, decent thrills.
  1. Wizards: Mad Ralph Bakshi animation with post-apocalyptic Nazi mutants warring against elves and fairies. Ludicrous stuff; recommended.
  1. Dr. Phibes Rises Again: Narratively less focused than the first film, but just as absurdly, gruesomely funny.
  1. Secuestro Express: A Tarantino-esque Venezuelan crime thriller, a solid mix of grim & brutal action and the occasional dark laugh.
  1. The Killers (1946): A stylish, gripping, Citizen Kane-like crime drama that keeps you hooked to the end.
  1. Halloween III: Season of the Witch: If it didn’t have the Halloween brand, nobody would give this a second glance. Forgettably mediocre.
  1. Ocean’s Eleven (2001): As brisk and snappy as it ever was. Fun and absurdly charming.
  1. The Avengers: I keep watching it and I keep loving it. There’s not a thing it does badly.
  1. The Secret of NIMH: A dark and gripping tale, expertly animated and told. There’s an ageless charm about this film.
  1. Thor: Ragnarok: Relentless fun. Coherent, punchy action, superb score, and a witty script, hilariously performed. Couldn’t get enough of it.
  1. Upside Down: An ok sci-fi with fun effects work let down by a perfunctory love story and dubious accents. Watch Patema Inverted instead.