Joeblade

First Few Days at Work

To begin; to minimise the possibilities of friction between Joeblade and my new employer, I will not be referring to any individuals I work with, nor will I refer to the company by name. Henceforth, the company shall be referred to only as ‘The Company’.

This is only professional, of course, but mostly it’s because I don’t wish to end up getting fired for what I write on this website. A certain amount of self-censorship is therefore necessary, and it won’t just affect my writings about work, but also writings about home. The reason is simple; both my landlady and my boss read my website.

When I stop to think about it, it’s not that much of a change in behaviour. I’ve lived in shared houses for years, and though I’ve plenty of anecdotes about the wide variety of knuckle-dragging cretins I’ve lived with in the past, I’ve never written about them here because there’s always the chance that said cretins will find the website and give me a good kicking. Nor have I ever written about previous places of employment, despite having plenty to write about because I never wanted to put myself in the position of either having to take down my website, or lose my job.

So. perhaps it’s not so much professionalism as it is a sense of enlightened self-interest, but there you have it. I never claimed to be professional; I own only one suit and one tie and one of the first things I tried to do on my first day was to look at eBay (they saw me coming — the website is one that they filter and block).

Just a few paragraphs in and I find myself concerned at what I’ve written, and thinking about potential consequences; admitting to trying to look at eBay — if my boss reads this, what will her reaction be? Will she shrug it off or will I be pulled aside tomorrow and given a stern talking to? Does she even read it regularly, or did she just read a couple of articles and leave it at that? Will she leave a comment on this post, or just put a red cross on my permanent record? Those of you familiar with the internet may have encountered Dooce, who unwisely wrote disparaging remarks about her place of employment and her co-workers, and lost her job (but became an internet legend) as a result.

Got Dooced?

Frankly, fuck it. I can’t think like this and write honestly and openly at the same time, so I’m just going to take my chances, and besides, there’s nothing work-related about Joeblade anyway so technically, nobody should be reading it during work hours. Really, I would prefer my managers read my website than find it one day and them demand it be taken down because they happen to own shares in Quality Paperbacks Direct.

I’m rambling, I think. I did intend to write about my first few days because all of you know that’s what I’ve been doing, but I thought I should clarify my position on these things. It’s so far a non-issue, because work has been fine. Everybody seems really nice and friendly, the atmosphere is great, the work looks as if it will be varied and challenging and The Company appears to value its staff. So far, it’s all been a bit of an info dump, but that’s understandable. I’ve been introduced to everyone, but don’t ask me names or faces — at the best of times, I don’t remember these details, so to meet about 30 people in the space of half an hour, well, you’re asking the impossible. I wasn’t even sure of my name by the end of it.

It’s a nicely informal environment. Blue jeans, which make up approximately ¾ of my wardrobe, are permitted, and start times are flexible so I’m starting work at 9:30am which works wonderfully for me — I can get up after my housemates have all gone to work and have a leisurely half-hour walk through a park to reach work.

There will be bad days, I’m sure, and I’ll decide how I want to write about them (if I write about them at all) when the time arrives. Until then, though, I’m permitting myself to be cautiously optimistic about the future, and will try not to think about what might happen when the piano drops. For the time being, I find myself blissfully free of both anecdotes and antagonists.

If anybody knows how to cheat WebSense filtering software, please, let me know.