Joeblade

Short reviews

  1. Tracks

    An overbearing score and a blank slate of a main character make this only a bit less of a slog than the real walk across Australia.

  2. The Last Emperor

    Bertolucci’s three hour epic about the last Chinese emperor is lavishly filmed but oppressively dull.

  3. The Missing Person

    Michael Shannon doing private detective film noir should be brilliant, but this was only ok. Not bad. Just…ok.

  4. A Time to Kill

    One of those respectably-performed John Grisham adaptations slightly tainted by that ‘90s “Ok, what did we learn?” vibe.

  5. Like Father, Like Son

    An engaging Japanese drama about 2 families who discover their children were switched at birth. Subdued yet powerful.

  6. Calvary

    An almost impossibly sparse and melancholy piece, as if the few characters are all in purgatory. Brilliant, but crushing.

  7. The Thomas Crown Affair (1968)

    Two hours of Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway very stylishly eye-fucking each other.

  8. The Lego Movie

    Like being screamed at by a children’s birthday party.

  9. Ida

    A superb, minimalist Polish drama.

  10. Princess Mononoke

    A long, slightly preachy Ghibli. Wore me out in the end, but I liked it for a while in the first half.

  11. Metro Manilla

    Well-played innocent-man-sucked-into-crime drama. Story’s been told over & over but the Philippine setting makes it feel new.

  12. The Browning Version (1994)

    A dry & unremarkable school-room drama. Nice to see Albert Finney at work but this is background noise at best.

  13. For Those in Peril

    What seems to be a slow-burning naturalistic Scottish fishing village drama edges slowly towards the supernatural. Good.

  14. The Cat Returns

    A peculiar b-list Ghibli involving a girl transported to a world of cats. Slightly unsettling in a way I can’t describe.

  15. Grave of the Fireflies

    The saddest film there’ll ever be. It's like, how much more sad could this be? And the answer is none. None more sad.

  16. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

    Enjoyed it despite being distracted by Kirk Douglas’ face which is made entirely of dimple and chin.

  17. My Neighbour Totoro

    Feels sacrilegious to be negative about Totoro but 90 minutes of screaming children is 89 minutes more than I can stand.

  18. The Last Battle

    Luc Besson’s first film; post-apocalyptic, black & white, dialogue-free. ‘80s synth score hasn’t aged well but worth a look.

  19. Some Came Running

    Could have been a good, solid, ‘50s Sinatra drama but seedy misogyny throughout has dated this badly. Unappealing.

  20. The Secret World of Arrietty

    Doesn’t grab me. As beautiful as any other Ghibli but there’s something a bit limp about it all.

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