Joeblade

Short reviews

  1. Lethal Weapon

    An almost perfect example of the ‘80s action movie genre, complete with homoerotic wrestling by rain and moonlight at the end.

  2. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

    I enjoyed this back in 2011 and it’s grown on me since then.

  3. Frozen

    A little…exuberant for my tastes, but it’s great to see a Disney film subverting the One True Prince Love stereotype.

  4. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    A shameless, joyless, emotionless slog.

  5. Blade Runner

    Cinematic perfection. Thank God they’ll never make a sequel!

  6. Little Shop of Horrors

    Another film I could comfortably put on a loop and watch forever.

  7. Prince of Darkness

    Slow-burning John Carpenter film; a bit like Assault on Precinct 13 but with demonic possession. I liked it, eventually.

  8. 35 Shots of Rum

    Hard to find fault - an intimate family drama with a lovely Tindersticks score.

  9. The Abominable Dr. Phibes

    Great. Dark comedy horror that stands up today, and Vincent Price out-acts everyone without ever moving his lips.

  10. Jude

    A solid enough Hardy adaptation though in the end it’s just about a guy who really wants to bone his cousin without consequences.

  11. X-Men

    By modern standards this is now like watching an Amazon Original Series pilot, but Jackman/Stewart/McKellan are always fun.

  12. Joe

    A perfectly fine Texan drama that’s just been done slightly better in the recent Mud. Nothing really wrong with Joe, but Mud is better.

  13. King Arthur

    An insipid, bland & dreary ‘realistic’ Arthurian story with a script ripped from Braveheart. Clive Owen at his most leaden.

  14. Frantic

    The sort of decent, solid ‘80s Euro-thriller that these days would have Liam Neeson killing everyone in sight. No complaints.

  15. The Jacket

    An interesting time travel curio. A bit sedate compared to 12 Monkeys, but it’s worth a look. Unexpectedly strong cast as well.

  16. Only Lovers Left Alive

    Great example of how to do dialogue-driven, action-free filmmaking. Almost nothing happens but I didn’t care at all.

  17. Ain’t Them Bodies Saints

    All style, no substance. Mumbling dialogue & constant finger-plucking music over nearly every scene irritated me.

  18. The Road to Perdition

    Probably more emotionally engaging if you’re a father with a son but I liked all the non-father-son-bonding bits also.

  19. The Dark Crystal

    Brilliant and somewhat nightmarish - almost made me wish I had children so I could terrify them with it.

  20. Blue Ruin

    An American take on those short, intense, Australian revenge flicks. Liked this a lot. Brief, violent, tense and darkly comic.

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