Joeblade

Short reviews

  1. Cinderella (2015)

    Live-action adaptation of the fairy tale that never amounts to anything more than a polished, pretty banality.

  2. Torn Curtain

    A solid enough Hitchcock thriller but felt a little by-the-numbers at times, like his heart just wasn’t in it.

  3. Tale of Tales

    Excellent fairy tale anthology; grim and dark with amazing visuals. Riveting stuff.

  4. One False Move

    Pretty good ‘90s neo-noir that’s worth watching for Billy Bob Thornton’s awful ponytail mullet alone.

  5. Grandma

    Lily Tomlin as a misanthropic poet trying to help her granddaughter get an abortion is basically my spirit animal. Great piece.

  6. Fantastic Voyage

    Like watching a lava lamp for 90 minutes without the benefit of being stoned.

  7. Transformers: The Movie

    Like listening to an album of shitty ‘80s music that happens to have a robot cartoon running in the background.

  8. Milano Calibro 9

    Absurdly violent and trashy Italian crime thriller. I don’t think a single spoken line matched the lip movements.

  9. Mystery Road

    A by-the-numbers Australian cop thriller. Watching it was a bit like how I imagine it feels to read a Lee Child novel.

  10. Kiss of the Spider Woman

    Perfect character piece, has made me seek out more of Raul Julia’s work. Turns out he’s not just Gomez & M. Bison!

  11. Love & Friendship

    Fantastic Jane Austen adaptation that I can’t recommend highly enough. Kate Beckinsale incredible. Tom Bennett hysterical.

  12. Warcraft: The Beginning

    Against all the odds, I enjoyed it. It’s flawed, but there's some good stuff here and there.

  13. It Happened One Night

    1934 romcom that’s served as a template for all other romcoms ever. Brilliant, and kind of quaint.

  14. A Letter to Momo

    An anime so forgettable I’m struggling even to write this review about it.

  15. X-Men: Apocalypse

    Serviceable, functional and generally unsurprising.

  16. Myra Breckinridge

    A supposed train wreck of a film but the decades have been kind to it. Worth getting the DVD for the bitchy commentaries.

  17. Brick

    Remains the fiercely-enjoyable, expertly-crafted high school noir pastiche it always was.

  18. Sleeping With Other People

    Just…shit.

  19. Sheba, Baby

    Possible I needed to be a lot drunker to appreciate such a trashy piece, but I did enjoy Pam Grier & a great soundtrack.

  20. Welcome to the Space Show

    Wanted to love this kids anime but it outstays its welcome by about 45 minutes, and left me bored and confused.

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