Joeblade

Short reviews

  1. Star Trek: Insurrection

    Not bad enough to hate, but something to be said for watching it when too ill to think. Pleasantly unchallenging.

  2. Porco Rosso

    My favourite Ghibli, this time watched with the French language track. Jean Reno as Rosso is as perfect as you might expect.

  3. Intermezzo

    Beautiful ‘30s film in which a man leaves his wife and children for Ingrid Bergman, because of course he does. Why wouldn’t he?

  4. Bram Stoker’s Dracula

    Quite possibly the best worst film I’ve ever seen. Objectively awful, yet totally absorbing.

  5. Attack on Titan Part 1

    A faithful adaptation of the anime: tedious, dull characters, stilted dialogue, but with a smidgen of decent action.

  6. Jaws

    Every time I watch Jaws I think “I won’t jump at the head in the boat” and every goddamn time, I jump. The film is basically magic.

  7. Romeo + Juliet

    Fantastic adaptation that I’ve seen dozens of times. Great soundtrack as well, as explored here.

  8. Sexy Beast

    All about Ben Kingsley and his terrifying physical performance. Even saying ‘no’ is dreadful.

  9. Gunfight at the O.K. Corral

    One of those classic ‘50s westerns that now feel turgid and stagey to me. Is it good? Bad? No idea.

  10. Malena

    An entire WW2-era Sicilian town loses its mind when Monica Bellucci moves in. Seemed plausible.

  11. LFO

    Solid bit of Scandinavian sci-fi about a man who can control others with sound. Dryly funny, creepy, weird. Worth checking out.

  12. Ace in the Hole

    Fiercely cynical noir, back from when actors didn’t so much act as simply bulge their eyes & sweat.

  13. Watership Down

    A film all children should watch, to teach them valuable lessons such as “how to choke a rabbit” and “do rabbits float?”

  14. Bone Tomahawk

    Superb minimalist Western, darkly funny, also gruesome & horrific. Some self-consciousness about its own racism comes through.

  15. Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

    A bad Jane Austen pastiche, a bad horror film and a bad comedy. Really quite a comprehensive failure.

  16. Triple 9

    Tediously masculine.

  17. Jurassic Park

    A thrilling, terrifying warning from Spielberg and Crichton to avoid single points of failure in your IT staffing solution.

  18. Out of the Past

    Outstanding 40s noir in which Robert Mitchum plays a man cursed to never remove his trench coat.

  19. Jason Bourne

    A promising first draft of a film. Hopefully they can improve the plot, screenplay and character motivations before release.

  20. To Live and Die in LA

    Solid, trashy eighties noir with William Dafoe when he looked like a rubbery CGI interpretation of his younger self.

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