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My best and worst films of 2009

Paul Haine, 21 December, 2009

Most organ­i­sa­tions and blog­ging out­lets appear to be com­pil­ing bumper fun lists detail­ing the best films, games, songs, pho­tos, deaths etc. from the entire decade. This strikes me as a bit of an unlikely goal; I strug­gle to nar­row these things down to the best what­ever of the last five min­utes myself. Nev­er­the­less, here’s my attempt at list­ing my best and worst films of 2009, in no par­tic­u­lar order of pref­er­ence and with lit­tle attempt to round to the near­est ten.

I’ll no doubt spend the next few weeks remem­ber­ing other films I wanted to put in this list, but here we go anyway:

Watch­men

While some found Watch­men to be impen­e­tra­ble, pon­der­ous and a shock­ing devi­a­tion from their much-loved graphic novel of the same name, I’d put it up with The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 2. Not only did Sny­der man­age to boil away the novel’s con­tents to a rea­son­ably tight core, he man­aged to deliver some of my favourite screen moments, chiefly the mon­tage intro­duc­tion and the his­tory of Dr. Man­hat­tan. The recently-released director’s cut of the film adds some fan-pleasing padding but the the­atri­cal cut is still the one for me.
Trailer for Watch­men

Inglou­ri­ous Basterds

Pos­si­bly this makes the list due to it being a pleas­ant sur­prise; Bas­terds for me was an incred­i­ble film. Thought­ful dia­logue, beau­ti­fully shot and intro­duc­ing some new tal­ent, this is Tarantino’s best in a long time. I hope he can keep it up and not descend back into Death Proof self-indulgences.
Trailer for Inglou­ri­ous Bas­terds
My review of Inglou­ri­ous Basterds

Moon

My absolute film of the year. While James Cameron is prat­ting around spend­ing the GDP of a small African nation on ren­der­ing some pretty videogame cutscenes, Dun­can Jones shows that pure SF can be deliv­ered on a shoe­string bud­get if you just have good char­ac­ters and story.
Trailer for Moon
My review of Moon

The White Ribbon

Michael Haneke pos­si­bly explains the rise of Facism in Ger­many with an art­ful mur­der mys­tery set in a pre-WWI Ger­man vil­lage. Drip­ping in ten­sion and style yet 90% of the film is unevent­ful. I sat for the dura­tion not sure why I was enjoy­ing myself then thought long and hard about the film for days after­wards.
Trailer for The White Ribbon

Il divo

A labyrinthine explo­ration of Ital­ian politi­cian Giulio Andreotti. Stun­ning to watch and comes with an oper­atic score by Teho Teardo, it’s a com­pli­cated film that demands mul­ti­ple view­ings (it even begins with a glos­sary).
Trailer for Il divo

sleep furi­ously

A real Sun­day morn­ing film. A doc­u­men­tary about a vil­lage in rural Wales. That’s all. It’s per­fect.
Trailer for sleep furi­ously

Encoun­ters at the End of the World

Werner Her­zog vis­its Antarc­tica and makes me want to join him. In the future when all of that shit is a trop­i­cal reef, this will make for good ref­er­ence mate­r­ial.
Trailer for Encoun­ters at the End of the World

JCVD

Jean Claude Van Damme’s tri­umphant return as him­self caught up in the midst of a rob­bery. To everyone’s sur­prise, JCVD turned out to be funny, poignant and prob­a­bly Van Damme’s finest work yet, though admit­tedly it’s not up against much com­pe­ti­tion. A bet­ter com­pli­ment would be to say that it’s one of the finest films of 2009, which it is, and not even iron­i­cally.
Trailer for JCVD

OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies

A French James Bond spoof set in the ’30s and filmed to look as if it was shot in the ’60s, with great suc­cess. Gen­uinely funny stuff and a nice con­trast to all the po-faced grit­ti­ness com­ing from the Bond/Bourne camps.
Trailer for OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies

Synec­doche, New York

One of the most depress­ing films I’ve ever seen. Kauf­man rumi­nates on life, death, age­ing and decay, and the artist’s inabil­ity to accu­rately por­tray it all. I saw this after hav­ing had my first fill­ing, which focussed my mind some­what.
Trailer for Synec­doche, New York

Lars and the Real Girl

Another sur­prise for me, as I was expect­ing a com­edy but ended by being as swept up in Lars’ imag­i­nary girl­friend as the rest of the town. Funny in places but mosty just very sad, it’s the first film since Man­nequin to make me care about a life-size plas­tic model.
Trailer for Lars and the Real Girl

And now for the worst…

The Wrestler

This had crit­ics and cin­ema­go­ers all in a tizzy but when it came to it, I just couldn’t give a shit. It’s wrestling! It’s wear­ing silly lycra cos­tumes and fak­ing fights for leer­ing idiots with foam hands and checked shirts. I just can’t care about some­one who’s so into wrestling that he’s going to do it even if it risks death. The whole thing’s ridicu­lous. It’s like try­ing to show the art and poetry and beauty of a cheese-rolling contest.

W.

A light-hearted and affec­tion­ate look at the life of the idi­otic, war­mon­ger­ing, lying, cretinous George W. Bush? No thanks. Think it’s a bit soon.

Bro­ken Embraces

After noth­ing — lit­er­ally noth­ing — had hap­pened in the first 45 min­utes I walked out, decid­ing I couldn’t take another 90 min­utes of this. The remain­ing time could have been filled with noth­ing but Pene­lope Cruz in naked les­bian hijinks but by that point I couldn’t care less.

Blind­ness

This one lost me when they dumped the newly-blind into a quar­an­tined facil­ity and expected them to cope for them­selves with phones, food, etc. I couldn’t get past this. Doc­tors and nurses in the real world get close to con­ta­gious patients all the time, so why should this be any dif­fer­ent? I can’t watch a film if I find it unbe­liev­able, so this remained unfinished.

The Imag­i­nar­ium of Doc­tor Parnassus

Sadly another train wreck from Gilliam though prob­a­bly not helped by the death of Heath Ledger. Clunky impro­vised dia­logue, a non­sen­si­cal story and the dubi­ous act­ing tal­ents of Lily Cole all helped to ham­mer the nails in.

The Reader

A real bit of Oscar-bait and not even helped by Kate Winslet appear­ing naked for the first 40 min­utes or so, I couldn’t work out what we were sup­posed to be feel­ing about any­one in this film. She’s a cold-blooded SS guard who let Jew­ish pris­on­ers burn to death in a locked church and tries to defend her actions; I’m afraid I find it a lit­tle tricky to care that she ends up learn­ing to read while in prison. I mean, well done you and all, but you’re still a mur­der­ing Nazi, aren’t you?