Film & TV

1. Review of Joss Whedon’s The Avengers

   17 May, 2012:

   I’ve enjoyed the Marvel films. They’ve been, with the exception of the plodding Iron Man 2, dependable, enjoyable popcorn flicks. The appealing presence of Robert Downey Jr. helped make an A-list character out of Iron Man, I have a soft spot for The Incredible Hulk, Captain America was a little forgettable but bolstered by a great cast and Thor, despite my initial scepticism, turned out to be my favourite of the lot. There was never anything in this line-up likely to challenge the more cerebral and serious The Dark Knight but that’s ok; Marvel comics have always had a lighter tone than DC, and it’s a testament to Marvel that they resisted the urge to Nolanify most of their properties.

2. A cinema is a place where people use their phones

   7 May, 2012:

   Picture this: the adverts and trailers have finished and it’s time for another laugh-free lobotomy courtesy of Orange Mobile that hawks the phone brand at the same time as telling you to switch the cocking things off. A man in the audience, having spent the last twenty minutes furiously texting, pauses to watch the advert. He laughs, then goes back to texting as the film starts up. Because it’s funny, isn’t it? The idea of turning your phone off, that is. Who turns their phone off these days?

3. Review of The Cabin in the Woods

   16 April, 2012:

   Reviewing The Cabin in the Woods seems pretty redundant, as it’s so recognisably from the Joss Whedon stable that there’s little here you won’t already have an opinion of and you probably already know if you’re going to see it or not. Enjoyed Buffy, Angel and Firefly? You’ll enjoy Cabin. Didn’t enjoy them? There’s nothing here that’s going to change your mind. Also, your opinions are wrong, and you’re grotesquely ugly.

4. Review of Martin Scorsese’s Hugo

   11 April, 2012:

   Hugo, Martin Scorsese’s love letter to THE MAGIC OF CINEMA, is two things: the end result of Scorsese’s desire to make something with 3D technology, presumably before the bottom falls out of the market, and a plea for a better understanding of, and a greater respect for, early cinema. The result: a load of irritating 3D effects and a grating, preaching tone.

5. The Robert Carlyle Effect

   4 April, 2012:

   Stargate Universe was mediocre, at best and at worst. It was never good enough to be eagerly or even slightly anticipated but also never bad enough to be watched ironically either. Bland characters, weak scripts and contrived situations with cheap resolutions. There were a couple of high marks, such as the time-bending episode Time and an occasional decent cliffhanger but it was never enough. What it did have, and what everyone watched the show for, was Robert Carlyle. Robert Carlyle, who once played the role of a mindless, snarling, Rage-infected monster in 28 Weeks Later and still managed to be the most personable character in the film.

6. Review of Andrew Stanton’s John Carter

   19 March, 2012:

   John Carter’s closest recent parallel is probably Kenneth Branagh’s Thor, in that both films feature fantasy concepts that a contemporary, mainstream audience may find hard to swallow. Thor pulled it off by presenting its world up front and delivering it all straight-faced instead of resorting to eye-rolling irony or tortured attempts to retcon the source material. The subject matter was treated respectfully and helped to put the audience in an accepting frame of mind. John Carter fumbles this just a little. With clunky lines such as “You can’t just bow down to Zodanga!”, unmemorable character names and a marketing campaign that blinked, you’re left with a film that’s occasionally difficult to swallow. Get past that and you’re left with an enjoyable and good-looking action flick with solid performances and some great set-pieces.

7. Review of The Muppets

   1 March, 2012:

   I am, and always have been, a big Muppets fan. I watched The Muppet Show as a child, I dutifully watched Muppets Tonight as a teenager, I watch The Muppet Christmas Carol every Christmas Eve and if I could find a way to be abused by Chris Langham, you’d have a hard time stopping me.

8. Review of Josh Trank's Chronicle

   19 February, 2012:

   Various Hollywood lizards have spent a great deal of time trying to bring an unwanted, live-action, Americanised adaptation of Akira into production, with reactions drifting between hilarity and gnashing of teeth as project status updates flickered between ‘cancelled’ and ‘project back on, Keanu Reeves to play Kaneda’. Though Josh Trank’s first film Chronicle is not a literal adaptation of Akira, it’s so similar in tone and story that it’s safe to consider the Hollywood adaptation (last known status: cancelled) safely trumped.

9. Review of The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn

   6 January, 2012:

   I never read Tintin as a child as Tintin was quite obviously for the squares, for children whose parents made you take your shoes off at the door, who wouldn’t let you watch Your Mother Wouldn’t Like It and who owned a BBC Micro. I read Asterix instead. I was pretty uncool, but at least I knew it and was making an effort to improve myself.

10. Review of Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows

    21 December, 2011:

    Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows isn’t much of a Sherlock Holmes film, but it’s an attractive action flick unhindered by 3D gimmickry nonetheless. Robert Downey Jr. continues doing that thing that Robert Downey Jr. does, and he does it well; I don’t know of anyone who does Robert Downey Jr. better than Robert Downey Jr.

11. Review of Guy Moshe's Bunraku

    20 December, 2011:

    When did Woody Harrelson become one of those actors that adds instant gravitas to any scene they’re in? As he gets older and craggier he seems to have solidified into this wall of character, with every line he reads sounding more meaningful than it has any right to. In Bunraku he happily takes on the “philosophical barman” trope, the linchpin in a film with so many stylistic influences that it’s a wonder everything holds together.

12. Trailer for Guy Moshe's Bunraku

    20 December, 2011:

    Guy Moshe’s Bunraku. Ignore the low ratings you may have seen elsewhere, this turned out to be one of my favourite film’s of 2011.

13. Review of Pan Am

    10 December, 2011:

    I have to be careful criticising Pan Am because the last time I watched something ironically it was Spartacus, and that grew into something very special; what appeared at first to be a po-faced, poor-man’s 300 ended up with drama, pathos and Lucy Lawless having sex with other ladies.

14. Review of Tomas Alfredson's Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

    27 October, 2011:

    Tomas Alfredson’s slow-burning, balletic adaptation of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is rich in atmosphere, dripping with character and repressed emotion.

15. Review of Kenneth Branagh’s Thor

    25 October, 2011:

    Kenneth Branagh’s Thor always seemed like it would be the hardest comic adaptation to fit convincingly into the shared universe Marvel have been piecing together for a few years now. Despite lacking the same level of public recognition as some of the other heroes, and having a magical background that could have felt out of kilter with the rest of the technology-borne ensemble, Thor has turned out to be one of the more solid and enjoyable Marvel films so far.

16. Review of Rise of the Planet of the Apes

    18 September, 2011:

    The endless slew of remakes, reboots and prequels only gets more complicated with every year. Rise of the Planet of the Apes is, as far as I can tell, a remake of Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, a prequel to an as-yet unmade remake of the original Planet of the Apes (or perhaps an as-yet unmade remake of the remake of the original Planet of the Apes) and a reboot of the entire Apes series, all of which was based on a book. We live in confusing times.

17. Reaper

    13 September, 2011:

    I’m thinking of a new policy of only watching TV shows after they’ve been cancelled, so I know the level of commitment expected of me. Lexx, an occasionally-brilliant, mostly-awful show ended after four seasons; easy to get through them despite the rapidly-plummeting quality because the finish line was always visible. Lost, on the other hand, I watched as it was broadcast and I abandoned the show in the third season because with no end in sight it was starting to feel like I was in purgatory.

18. Review of Captain America

    7 August, 2011:

    Captain America: The First Avenger is a mildly enjoyable period romp where some staid action and the tawdry whiff of prequel is just about held together by a decent script and likeable characters. Very much a popcorn film; you might enjoy it at the time but you’re probably not going to reminisce about it later.

19. Trailer for David Fincher's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

    2 July, 2011:

    I’ve no real interest in the books, the original films or David Fincher’s remake, but this is an excellent trailer nonetheless.

20. Trailer for Ed Gass-Donnelly's Small Town Murder Songs

    2 July, 2011:

    Hard to beat a bit of Southern Gothic.

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