Wasted on the young

Joeblade this week is brought to you by gv:

One of the dubious benefits of being a parent with small children is that you usually don’t get a choice about watching kids’ programmes on television. This is probably a good thing, given that most adult television is dominated by reality and makeover shows in one form or another.

That’s not to say that all children’s TV is good: there is the usual quota of ham-fisted merchandising loosely disguised as entertainment, anything involving the Power Rangers for example, or inane story-lines with simplistic moral messages, such as those seen in Lazy Town. Fortunately, there are a number of shows that are interesting, entertaining and occasionally so well-written that they are simply too good to be wasted on children.

So, here’s a quick overview of some of the programmes that I and my two children (aged two and five) have been watching recently.

A Dog and His Cabbage, A Girl and Her Beast

The Shiny Show is a simple quiz based around a number of short video clips of an everyday task. For each question you get right, you give yourself a “shiny,” i.e., any shiny object on hand. The interaction between the three characters in the show, a monkey called Mukka, a cheese-loving cat/tiger thing called Tiggs and a mad dog called Dogsby, is the main reason for watching, with Mukka and Tiggs trying hard to keep Dogsby on the straight and narrow. Dogsby, by the way, has a strange fetish for cabbages and goes bananas at the sight of a banana.

Maggie and the Ferocious Beast is a programme about a little girl called Maggie who visits a fantasy world called Nowhere Land, wearing a pith helment reminiscent of Don Estelle. In this fantasy world, she is friends with a (not very) Ferocious Beast, who has three horns and a body covered in detachable polka dots, and a pig called Hamilton Hocks, who lives in a large cardboard box, and wears a fetching sweater adorned with a large capital-H. The programme is worth watching for Hamilton’s over-fussy prissiness and a rabbit called Nedley who talks almost exclusively in doggerel.

Max and Ruby is a animated series based on the books by Rosemary Wells. It is a throwback to a gentler age when it was possible to play in your front garden without the fear of being abducted and baby sitting didn’t need a police background check. Ruby and her little brother Max have a number of twee adventures that always have a humourous twist at the end. By the way, Max has some of the coolest toys I’ve ever seen – they definitely missed a merchandising opportunity there.

A Pineapple Under The Sea

As an adult, possibly the best children’s programme to watch is SpongeBob SquarePants. Beginning with a comical pirate head painting singing an absurd theme song, each episode is sharp, well-written and packed with humour that, like all the best television, works on a number of levels.

Each character is clearly delineated, which adds an air of familiarity to each episode, but does not allow it to become predictable and mundane. The star (literally) of the show is SpongeBob’s best friend Patrick, who bears a resemblance to Homer Simpson but without the brains.

Be warned, though, that after one particular episode, my two-year-old spent a couple of weeks going round saying, “I’m going to kick your butt!” to everyone he met.

Other shows worth catching are Xiaolin Showdown, Robotboy and an excellent animated series of The Batman, which thankfully appears to be based on the comic books rather than the Adam West show. There’s also Hi-5, apparently a favourite of Charlie Brooker’s, although it’s a bit too relentlessly cheerful for my taste.

So that’s it for this round-up. I’m off to put the kids to bed and then it’s an uninterrupted evening watching a yellow sponge.

• Tweet
• Share on Tumblr