ntl Hell
You would suppose, I suppose, that as ntl are known colloquially as ntlHell that might have given me a sort of a clue as to what I could expect from them. I mean, as warning signs go, that’s a pretty big one, but it was one I ignored. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I don’t know whether I should feel special, but ntl actually managed to screw things up from the moment the engineer arrived at my door to install the cable. After refusing to put the cable box upstairs in my room which the pre-sales boy had promised would be possible (”ealth and safety reasons, innit?’), he installed the box in the front room and couldn’t get it to work. He didn’t know why, so gave up after 15 minutes, called another engineer and promised that this other engineer would be around to to finish the job. After that, he returned to wherever it is that ntl engineers are kept at night, signed off the job as ‘complete’, and probably went and had a nice cup of tea. Meanwhile, the ‘other engineer’, naturally, failed to arrive. Perhaps he never really existed at all.
So I phone ntl and point out that the job is unfinished and the other engineer didn’t arrive to finish the work. The sales boy was profoundly apologetic and promised to send another engineer out the very next day. The next day, no ntl engineer shows. So I phone again, and am promised another engineer for a different day. Again, no ntl engineer shows.
You can probably see where this is going.
So I phone again — I should point out that each time I phone, I’m being put on hold for about 30–60 minutes each time, which isn’t helping my mood — and am this time promised a visit from the Area Manager. The Area Manager does not, of course, show up.
So I phone again — this is about one week on now and the cable box still doesn’t work — and explain that as I haven’t signed any contract and haven’t received any service from ntl then if another promise is broken I won’t be making any more phone calls, I’ll simply be going to BT and getting a phone line installed. I make sure that this is understood and accepted and am promised a call within 24 hours.
72 hours later, there has still been no call. I write a letter containing a potted history of my dealings with ntl, explain that I will not be signing a contract and that as they haven’t provided me with any service I won’t be giving them any money.
One month later, I receive my first bill for £24.99, and get a sort of sinking feeling in my stomach.
Payment is due immediately.
So, another letter, this time sent to every ntl address I can find explaining the problem, the history, the absence of either a signed contract on my part or a working service on theirs, and 30 days later I get another bill, this time for £49.98. Evidentally if anybody is reading my letters, they’re ignoring them. The bill warns that if I don’t pay soon, they may have to ‘restrict’ my service — how you restrict a service that isn’t there is a mystery to me but it may be the technical equivalent of one hand clapping.
So what to do? If I phone then I end up being passed around to various departments before either getting an empty promise (or I just get disconnected). If I write letters then they get ignored. I don’t particularly want to end up dealing with debt collectors and courts but this appears to be where it’s going as I’m not paying for something that’s never existed…