The NME
Buy an issue of The NME. It could be the current issue, or a recent issue. Start at page one, and read your way through it.
- If you encouter the word ‘shroomadelica’, take a drink.
- If The NME describes 2004 as being ‘The Third Summer of Love’, take a drink.
- If you see their ‘shroomadelica’ logo and typeface, take a drink.
- If an NME reporter interviews a musician and asks them if they take mushrooms (or ‘shrooms), or there’s an article on The Bees, or The Zutons, or any modern band at all somehow linking them to the ‘shroomadelica’ movement, take two drinks.
- If you start getting the feeling that The NME really is going on about taking mushrooms an awful lot, and the nagging suspicion that this mushroom craze is not actually sweeping the nation, but sweeping the offices of The NME and nowhere else, take a drink.
- If you read something about music, have some coffee, and check that you’re still reading The NME, because chances are, you’re not.
You’ll be pissed by page seven.
Ah yes, the ‘legal mushroom’ craze. Here on the streets of our teeming capital, you can now find plenty of stalls peddling crap psychedelics to hopeful middle-class students, or advertising them “for research or ornamental purposes” alongside mobile phone covers. I mean, who goes to buy drugs and a mobile phone cover? I find myself pushing through the Oxford Street throngs, thinking “are all these people on ineffectual mind-altering substances? Are they looking at me with paranoid, drug-crazed eyes? At what point should I use the cattle prod?”
I feel that, in the interests of finding out THE TRUTH, ‘Decline and Fall’ should run a Drugs Special. After finding several acquaintances gibbering frantically in some kind of chemical-induced frenzy in my kitchen the other day, I think it should be a fairly easy task.
As for the NME, it’s a shameless, tawdry pile of cack.
Hey, I’m now the fourth google result for a search of the word ‘shroomadelica’
Hopefully this means the NME staffers will see your comments
They’re probably too busy making up new crazes to be bothered with the likes of me
Its good to see somebody else has noticed what a load of fat-heads the ‘shroom’ obsessed nme staff are. I thought I was the only one.
g’bless you
Hello, what the hell is shroomadelica? Do people eat mushrooms?
Kate, I believe that ‘shroomadelica’ is a phrase coined by a dim-witted journo in order to make the readers of their tawdry music magazine think they’re somehow back in the heady days of the 1960s. “Shroom” = “mu[shroom]“, “delic” as in “psychadelic”, and “a” because, well, they’re just idiots really.
Leave NME alone you evil bastards!
I think NME seem to know less and less about music these days and it is more of a journal for their office.
Now that the, ahem, “Third Summer Of Love” is over, the NME have had to invent a new music movement to see them through until Christmas; it’s all about the reams of tedious Libertine wannabes that inhabit the capital at the moment. They’ve named this movement “London’s Burning”, which is either a reference to The Clash, or a reference to poor-quality ITV television shows about firemen. It could be either, really.
Of course Decline & Fall recently investigated all this very thoroughly. It ended in disaster
Marvellous and witty article. Couldn’t agree more. Im glad there are some individuals who maintain a musical and cultural concious.
Here, here! Couldn’t agree more, Paul. Somehow I missed this article back in June, but I hadn’t missed the NME’s piss-poor journalism. And what’s with the editor? He’s about 12 years old, and was on telly at the weekend talking about Celine Dion and Elton John.
It’s rotten. Rotten to the core.
The NME is, in essence, the journalistic equivalent of someone sitting on the floor playing with handfuls of their own poo.